The Essay is Complete

My application essay for IIUM. Ladies and gents, I gave my all.

I am an average teenager. My past achievements were neither exceptional nor extraordinary; they were average yet memorable in my years of schooling. My studies in school were average as well; I loved Pendidikan Seni, Add. Math. drove me crazy and I never gotten below an A for Pendidikan Islam, as I always made sure I HAD to do well in Islamic studies even if I was failing Fizik (personally, I thought it was a shame NOT to do well in religious studies, moreover if it was about one’s own religion). After my SPM in 2005, I enrolled into a private art college in Petaling Jaya for a year before an unexpected transition took place in my life and compelled me to withdraw from the institution. I choose IIUM and I am adamant—I am not turning back.

I am also a curious teenager. I am curious about a great deal of things, but my main curiosity I am currently engaged in is RELIGION. Specifically, ISLAM. Yes, I am curious about my religion, the very religion I grew up with and have faith in all my life. At present, I see seemingly never-ending series of miscellaneous events occurring around the world in the name of Islam; consist MOSTLY of tragedies than joy and pride. Locally, I see more Muslims taint themselves in confounding ways that just blend gradually into our culture and society—including yours truly. And I find it all ironic as most of us already embraced Islamic studies even before we can read or write. Therefore I wonder; what exactly went wrong here? What happened to us? Islam is a complete religion that covers all aspects of life. What makes us so corrupted--so incomplete?

I am on a quest. I want to go back to the roots of my faith and seek the absolute truths for myself. I want to know more about my religion; I want to learn and gain more about Islam, so much more than just memorising facts in Islamic textbooks to excel in exams. I am no longer willing to continue my blind faith of Islam or the ever ‘versions’ of Islam. No longer am I following my parents’ Islam, my grandmother’s Islam, my ustazahs’ Islam, my friends’ Islam, my Sir’s Islam, my culture’s Islam, my society’s Islam, or my country’s Islam. There is only ONE Islam, and THAT is my religion. And, insyaallah [in Allah's Will], maybe this journey I am taking to help myself will be the benefit of me to help others who are in spiritual turmoil—exactly as I am now.

Now you know.