Yes, I'm leaving The One Academy. Yes, I'm appealing for International Islamic University Malaysia. No, I'm not turning holier-than-thou nor am I turning into all things good or pure (ughh). After almost 8 months of significant time wasted, I realised TOA isn't meant for me as I thought it would. I realised my greatest mistake - the difference between passion and interest.
I was repeating one single subject for two whole semesters, which began in January. Two semesters baby, is equivalent to 8 months. And I'm getting to the best part--the subject I failed in all its glory twice in a row is Figure Studies 2 (study of drawing of human anatomy). I was lifelessly serving time somewhere in mid 2nd repeated semester when I only began to think, this ain't right. If I'm really wanna move on to major, why ain't I progressin' on anythin' in this bloody subject which I can excel to high heavens (pffft)...? Not like I CAN'T draw to save my bootyful ass. I draw good. But was I moving forward? ...Nay. Nil.
A flashback moment, please. Back in SPM days, I was reluctant to take up Seni for SPM, even though my own best friend was putting up with it (BFF. Gurl thang). [We were the slammin' kids who dropped Bio and took I.T. instead. Basically we were the in-betweens of science and art streams. Hell, we rocked!] I said to her, "No, I'm not gonna take it coz art is something of free will; something that can't be forced into something like an exam where you have to be forced to create art, ughh... It has to be free, ya know, from the inside." From that, fast forward two years in crazy top speed life animation and back to present, it just clicked. I couldn't do it anymore.
Reality mauled me to realisation. I just couldn't--for the life of me--imagine creating/designing art under the demands of clients; of their requirements, their needs. Yes, you generally create art from within you, but to satisfy clients, is it not? Yes, you definitely feel triumphant, the satisfaction for each design you created for them--but in my case, you are doing their art--not your own. Your art of your inner thoughts, your emotions, your persona, your being, your life... I believe that, is real art. Art of oneself, with no restrictions, no boundaries, throw in a couple of peace/love/freedom hippy life philosophies and there you have it--my interpretation of art. How about your interpretation of art? It's your own.
Discussion of ART above is in the context of Visual Art. Just in case.
There, the revelation of my mistake. Visual art is a great interest of mine that I make it a hobby, but not a career. I just...couldn't. After said mistake made, I thought why not embark upon something that intertwines with my life in some ways or another--religion. Seeking my own truths. And perhaps, helping others such as myself to seek their own.
Ye-ah, lead-the-world roles aside. I'm taking Communications a.k.a Mass Comm, so reel back in those gasps/other dramatic sounds of shock. I chose UIA because of perspective studies in their course syllabus of Islam verses the world and beyond. I don't make a good ustazah. Think of the poor kids.
Now you know. Wish me luck. I need it.
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